As I sit here writing, I begin to reflect back At 2019.
I had begun the year with such great optimism and gusto just like the year before that and then I found within commencing January, things began to go the complete opposite direction, and do you know? 2019 didn’t pan out any differently from 2016, 2017 and 2018 either.
Another two years that have past me by with such disappointment that any normal person would just feel dejected and throw in the towel.
With my love life and health looking worse than ever, will eternal bliss, happiness and contentment ever be achieved?
How I coped with the year…
Now that I have declared that the year 2019 has not been very favourable towards me, the question I need to ask myself is how on earth did I cope with the situation.
My truthful and honest answer would be, I didn’t. I didn’t cope or deal with the situation at all. If you were to look at me as a stranger, you would within no shadow of a doubt that you would see a very unhappy, stressed lady. So its no wonder why I didn’t manage to fulfil 2019 with love, happiness, contentment and total bliss.
What could I have done differently…
I may not be able to control everything that gets in the way of my path, but I am in control of my own destiny to a point as long as I’m not in the mercy of others and how they react with me.
Looking back at 2019, yes I could have done a lot of things differently, but living under a shadowed cloud of unhappiness and not being clearly understood by friends and family. Well, it took its toll on me.
Grief strikes everyone differently. Some people stop eating, others overeat. Then there are those who retreat into their shells and then there are others who get very angry and show aggression with unintentional emotional bullying.
Mine was overeating which didn’t feel the void in my heart, but actually fueled the negative emotions within and the more I ate, the worse I felt. Yet I carried on because my self-worth was at its lowest point of a big fat zero.
It’s hard to see from within, but I sure wished that someone who was close to me had given me a wake-up call much sooner. Perhaps, I wasn’t ready to listen and they knew that too.
As a fully trained Clinical Hypnotherapist, you’d think I’d know. Well, I do know. But who actually follows their own advice when they’re so down that they cannot even practise their profession on others, let alone themselves?
I go back to my original question. What could I have done differently?
There are many things that I could have done differently, but I personally wasn’t ready to begin that journey. However, I do know that I don’t want to stay on that same path and I am ready for the healing to begin.
Looking forward to what is coming
It’s Thursday, 1st January 2020. I am not making any New Years resolutions as I don’t want to let myself down.
However, I am promising myself that my mental state of health is going to take priority and just by dealing with one thing. Everything else that has gone wrong for me should follow in the right direction.
What have I learned from the past year
Don’t take anything for granted, and that there is no shame to ask for help or even a shoulder to cry on.
It’s OK to grieve for the ones you love and lost, but they have gone and I’ve been told by a few clairvoyants that the deceased are happy, so stop grieving and live your life.
So this is what I’m actually going to do.
How will I do things differently
From now on, I shall be keeping on track to my healthy eating mainly PBWF but I am human and I won’t beat myself up if I do sneak a little treat in now and again.
Some exercising will creep into my routine, but not before the inflammation on my joints has gone down. I’m sure eating plenty of fruit, vegetables and simple carbs will help me tremendously.
For someone who doesn’t enjoy spending a lot of time in the kitchen, I’m actually looking forward to creating lots of different types of meals.
But my main goal is to be happy, healthy, have fun with my family and SMILE…
Types of therapy you may be interested in are:
- CBD – Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
- NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming
(I hope you enjoyed reading this, please feel free to share and comment on this post.)